The Internet is this weird place where the ridiculous just seems to be the norm. Otherwise, I can’t logically explain this phenomenon of creating hit songs from just auto-tuning things people say. It’s helped people that can’t actually sing (Britney Spears, T-Pain, Lil’ Wayne, etc) make careers out of wacky, robot squeak voices for years now but I’m talking about people just talking…like on the news. Maybe you remember a man in a red bandana telling you to hide your kids, wife and/or husbands? Or maybe this one? Or this one?
My favorite is Dayum Dayum DAYUM, featuring a man singing about his burger. Daym Drops uploaded this awesome, super official review of the Five Guys’ double cheeseburger, which the Internet got ahold of and turned into a smooth R&B jam.
A smooth R&B jam that convinced me that I need to try Five Guys Burgers and Fries when they hit Vancouver. I’m not usually a big fan of fast food burgers. They’re just all too…American. Let me explain: since just about every major burger chain is from the United States, they like to drown their burgers in too much of a good thing. Take “The Baconator”, for example. I love me some bacon but cramming a whole pork belly in between enormous patties and what looks sort of like cheese is overkill. It’s like a meat lovers’ pizza…you get to the point where you just can’t taste anything but grease and meat. I’m thoroughly carnivorous but I like balance. A good burger has a nice juicy patty and bacon but also includes crisp veggies, ketchup, mustard and other fixin’s.
According to their website, Five Guys is a family business that began in 1986 and has since exploded into a 1000-location chain across North America. President Barack Obama famously treated his staff to lunch at a Washington, D.C. location. The downtown Vancouver branch opened about six months ago on Robson Street.
The menu is simple. You can either have one or two patties, with or without cheese/bacon and then choose your toppings. Everything is made to order rather than sitting under a heat lamp and their fries are freshly cut as well.
Of course, this sounds like it might be pushing it on the definition of “fast” but they’re reasonably quick and you can chow down on the free peanuts while you wait.
I went with a single patty with bacon ($5.99), lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, and onions. The patty isn’t super thick but it is juicy and has a nice, chunky texture. The bacon…well, as the song would say, this is how bacon is supposed to be. I’ve never had bacon this crispy! Usually bacon at a fast food place is sad and soggy but this stuff has crunch to it. As far as fast food goes, this is a very good burger. “Little” just means single patty, by the way.
The fries ($2.99) are also very good. Fried in 100% peanut oil, they’re crispy and seasoned with just salt (cajun seasoning is also available). They’re delicious and taste very natural unlike the overly shaped and processed fries elsewhere.
It’s nice to see a fast food chain put some care into their food but at the end of the day, despite the amazing bacon, it’s still a fast food burger and there’s better food to be had in Vancouver. For $5.99, though? You’re doing a lot better than whatever you can get at McDonalds, Burger King, et al. Give them a try and see if they make you go dayum dayum DAYUM.